Our regular The Hot and The Dead columnist, Shelley Stocken is sick this week and wasn’t able to find a hot and dead person to crush on. We send Shelley all our love and best wishes, and give you this small moment in time as a place holder until she gets better.
1. Give Simple Whippet and Speedy Whippet exactly same amount of food for breakfast.
2. Speedy Whippet finishes first and eyes the Simple Whippet's half-full bowl.
3. Simple Whippet eats slowly and carefully, trying not to be confused by his food.
4. Speedy Whippet thinks for a minute and then looks at front door and barks.
5. Simple Whippet runs to front door to see who's there.
6. Speedy Whippet immediately eats the rest of Simple Whippet's breakfast.
7. Simple Whippet returns to the kitchen and looks mournfully at his empty bowl.
8. I laugh at Simple Whippet and go back to bed.
The moral of this tale: don't be an idiot in my house because you won't get any sympathy.